As many of you now know, Christian and I are very excited to be expecting. We are even more excited to be able to say we are expecting TWINS! Really, excited is an understatement. Overjoyed, thrilled, ecstatic, nervous, anxious....you name it, we are feeling it.
What some of you may not know is that our road to get here was not short, and it was not always smooth. However, we are here and joy has taken over!
We decided before we got married that we both wanted children. We never said how many or any real details. We just wished for healthy children and we planned to start a family as soon as we were married. It is that easy, right? Wrong! I never knew the disappointment we would face, the heartache we would push through, and the physical endurance we would need. However, I never knew I could feel the joy I feel right now either.
After a year and half of thinking it would just happen, we were faced with tests, tests and more tests. Those were followed by lab results, and some disappointing facts. None the less, we were no where near the end of our rope. We had a doctor that was on our side and took amazing care of us. I had surgery to fix one problem and we set out on our way again. The medications began. They didn't work. I was mad about that. Angry in fact. Why can't they just work!?! But again, it was not the end.
We were sent to a specialist. We met her for the first time on our 2 year wedding anniversary. She was amazing as well. She set us up with more aggressive treatment. Two rounds with her and our hearts were still empty. I was starting to break. At that point, I honestly didn't think I was strong enough. I could not go a day without thinking, this is never going to work. Thankfully, I have a husband who stood strong and pushed me to go further. We proceeded with the most aggressive form of treatment. We were hopeful. That did not work either. At that point I shut off. I had nothing. Once again, Christian pushed me to go one step further. As I laid on the operating table that day I told myself, if this does not work, I am done! Thankfully, it worked!
It all seemed nothing short of a miracle. Our two miracle babies.
My point in sharing our journey is to also give me a chance to share how blessed we are to be surrounded with some pretty special people. I apologize in advance, this is going to get long :-)
First of all, my husband. Talk about my hero. He never gave up. He never backed down. He held me when I cried and never flinched. He told me over and over we would be parents, we just would be. He had faith that I sometimes failed to have. He spoiled me when I didn't deserve it. He stopped what he was doing to make sure I was ok. And he did it often. Never complained. Never said, I wish we didn't have to go through this. Never said, I give up. He sat by me during the procedures and made me laugh. He calmed my many panic attacks. He gave me the shots in my tummy without a second thought. He made me laugh some more. He told the doctor when our sweet babies were nothing but a little dot on the screen that they looked just like him. See what I mean about the laughing? And the day we found out we had not one but two heartbeats the first words he said were, "sweet, now we will have a tennis doubles team." To sum it up, he was strong. Strong for me. Strong when I could not be. Strong when he was exhausted and didn't have to be. He was and is my everything.
Then there are my sister-in-laws, Emily and Lynnetta. I was driving a half hour to work each morning. I needed to talk. Guess who listened? They did. Every. Single. Time. They listened to it all. I whined. I complained. I said I give up a million times. I said I couldn't take it any more a million more times. I said it wasn't fair. And still they listened. They told me I could go on. They told me I could take more. Emily even drove me to Madison a couple times. She had the pleasure of giving me a shot once to. Certainly not in the list of job descriptions as a sister-in-law. She did it, watched me pass out, and picked me right back up. They were both everything I needed them to be and they didn't have to be, supportive. And again, they were strong. Strong when I could not be.
Guess what, there are more. Steve and Nancy Borchers, a.k.a, our second parents. During our final rounds of treatments, I had to be in Madison almost every other day for about a month. Guess who drove me? They did. At 6 am some days. Almost every trip, it was snowing. In case you are not aware, Steve does not take his car in the snow, ever. He did for me, several times. They drove me to the appointments. They sat in the waiting room no questions asked. They took me to lunch, wherever I wanted to go. They even drove me on Valentine's Day. I will say it once again, they were strong. Strong when I physically couldn't be.
To my many friends who stood by my side through the journey, you know who you are. My heart melts thinking of your support. Words of encouragement. Words of advice. Talking me off the ledge several times. Listening to me when you had much better things to do. And laughing with me when I needed it the most. Your friendships are a treasure to me.
Last but not least are my parents. What do I really say here? To say they supported Christian and I through this journey is just an understatement. There will never be words to describe how grateful we are. In all honesty, none of it would have been possible without them. Emotionally, physically, financially. None of it. We can only hope they know our appreciation and we cannot wait for them to hold our precious babies in their arms and know the joy they helped us find.
Thinking back on the journey and thinking about all those who were by our side, it may seem like a miracle. However, I like to call it a blessing. Christian and I are blessed and surrounded with so much support. And now we are expecting two precious blessings. We pray every day for the health of our sweet little ones and a safe arrival come Nov/Dec. We are just truly and fully blessed.
Of course I must end with a song. I heard George Strait's "I Saw God Today" about a week after we got our amazing news:
Saw a couple walkin' by they were holdin' hands
Man she had that glow
Yeah I couldn't help but notice she was startin' to show it
Stood there for a minute takin' the sky
Lost in that sunset
Splash of amber melted in the shades of red
I've been to church
I've read the book
I know he's here
But I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today
Got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleepin' like a rock
My name on her wrist
Wearin' tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today
