As many of you now know, Christian and I are very excited to be expecting. We are even more excited to be able to say we are expecting TWINS! Really, excited is an understatement. Overjoyed, thrilled, ecstatic, nervous, anxious....you name it, we are feeling it.
What some of you may not know is that our road to get here was not short, and it was not always smooth. However, we are here and joy has taken over!
We decided before we got married that we both wanted children. We never said how many or any real details. We just wished for healthy children and we planned to start a family as soon as we were married. It is that easy, right? Wrong! I never knew the disappointment we would face, the heartache we would push through, and the physical endurance we would need. However, I never knew I could feel the joy I feel right now either.
After a year and half of thinking it would just happen, we were faced with tests, tests and more tests. Those were followed by lab results, and some disappointing facts. None the less, we were no where near the end of our rope. We had a doctor that was on our side and took amazing care of us. I had surgery to fix one problem and we set out on our way again. The medications began. They didn't work. I was mad about that. Angry in fact. Why can't they just work!?! But again, it was not the end.
We were sent to a specialist. We met her for the first time on our 2 year wedding anniversary. She was amazing as well. She set us up with more aggressive treatment. Two rounds with her and our hearts were still empty. I was starting to break. At that point, I honestly didn't think I was strong enough. I could not go a day without thinking, this is never going to work. Thankfully, I have a husband who stood strong and pushed me to go further. We proceeded with the most aggressive form of treatment. We were hopeful. That did not work either. At that point I shut off. I had nothing. Once again, Christian pushed me to go one step further. As I laid on the operating table that day I told myself, if this does not work, I am done! Thankfully, it worked!
It all seemed nothing short of a miracle. Our two miracle babies.
My point in sharing our journey is to also give me a chance to share how blessed we are to be surrounded with some pretty special people. I apologize in advance, this is going to get long :-)
First of all, my husband. Talk about my hero. He never gave up. He never backed down. He held me when I cried and never flinched. He told me over and over we would be parents, we just would be. He had faith that I sometimes failed to have. He spoiled me when I didn't deserve it. He stopped what he was doing to make sure I was ok. And he did it often. Never complained. Never said, I wish we didn't have to go through this. Never said, I give up. He sat by me during the procedures and made me laugh. He calmed my many panic attacks. He gave me the shots in my tummy without a second thought. He made me laugh some more. He told the doctor when our sweet babies were nothing but a little dot on the screen that they looked just like him. See what I mean about the laughing? And the day we found out we had not one but two heartbeats the first words he said were, "sweet, now we will have a tennis doubles team." To sum it up, he was strong. Strong for me. Strong when I could not be. Strong when he was exhausted and didn't have to be. He was and is my everything.
Then there are my sister-in-laws, Emily and Lynnetta. I was driving a half hour to work each morning. I needed to talk. Guess who listened? They did. Every. Single. Time. They listened to it all. I whined. I complained. I said I give up a million times. I said I couldn't take it any more a million more times. I said it wasn't fair. And still they listened. They told me I could go on. They told me I could take more. Emily even drove me to Madison a couple times. She had the pleasure of giving me a shot once to. Certainly not in the list of job descriptions as a sister-in-law. She did it, watched me pass out, and picked me right back up. They were both everything I needed them to be and they didn't have to be, supportive. And again, they were strong. Strong when I could not be.
Guess what, there are more. Steve and Nancy Borchers, a.k.a, our second parents. During our final rounds of treatments, I had to be in Madison almost every other day for about a month. Guess who drove me? They did. At 6 am some days. Almost every trip, it was snowing. In case you are not aware, Steve does not take his car in the snow, ever. He did for me, several times. They drove me to the appointments. They sat in the waiting room no questions asked. They took me to lunch, wherever I wanted to go. They even drove me on Valentine's Day. I will say it once again, they were strong. Strong when I physically couldn't be.
To my many friends who stood by my side through the journey, you know who you are. My heart melts thinking of your support. Words of encouragement. Words of advice. Talking me off the ledge several times. Listening to me when you had much better things to do. And laughing with me when I needed it the most. Your friendships are a treasure to me.
Last but not least are my parents. What do I really say here? To say they supported Christian and I through this journey is just an understatement. There will never be words to describe how grateful we are. In all honesty, none of it would have been possible without them. Emotionally, physically, financially. None of it. We can only hope they know our appreciation and we cannot wait for them to hold our precious babies in their arms and know the joy they helped us find.
Thinking back on the journey and thinking about all those who were by our side, it may seem like a miracle. However, I like to call it a blessing. Christian and I are blessed and surrounded with so much support. And now we are expecting two precious blessings. We pray every day for the health of our sweet little ones and a safe arrival come Nov/Dec. We are just truly and fully blessed.
Of course I must end with a song. I heard George Strait's "I Saw God Today" about a week after we got our amazing news:
Saw a couple walkin' by they were holdin' hands
Man she had that glow
Yeah I couldn't help but notice she was startin' to show it
Stood there for a minute takin' the sky
Lost in that sunset
Splash of amber melted in the shades of red
I've been to church
I've read the book
I know he's here
But I don't look
Near as often as I should
Yeah, I know I should
His fingerprints are everywhere
I just slowed down to stop and stare
Opened my eyes and man I swear
I saw God today
Got my face pressed up against the nursery glass
She's sleepin' like a rock
My name on her wrist
Wearin' tiny pink socks
She's got my nose, she's got her mama's eyes
My brand new baby girl
She's a miracle
I saw God today
Monday, July 23, 2012
Friday, March 30, 2012
Never look back?
So many people use the phrase, "never look back." Focus on today they say, look toward the future. I get all that. But what about the good things that happened "back" then. I think its ok to look back occasionally. It's cliche, but those memories and moments happened for a reason. I can appreciate those reasons now more than ever.
I see it this way, if I never look back, how will I remember my Grandpa Greenfield (a.k.a. Gramps) who passed away over 10 years ago. How will I remember all the people I met in college and now only keep in touch with on Facebook if at all? How will I remember all of the toys I used to play with that are now on sale in the "vintage" section on Etsy? Those are not things I am willing to never look back for.
I was reminded of this thought the other day while driving to work. I drive west to work. The sun rises in the east. If I never look back, I don't see the sunrise. I don't want to miss this either...
Later that day, I bought a bottle of syrup at the store and noticed it said, "do not microwave" at the bottom. I giggled. As a child, our families would gather at our Grandpa Greenfield's house on Sunday nights for pizza and ice cream. Grandpa always had chocolate syrup for the ice cream. One evening, I guess we requested hot fudge. He didn't think twice, tossed the bottle in the microwave and off he went. Less than a minute later there was a loud noise and one messy microwave. It doesn't seem that funny to you I am sure. But, some day I will make an entire post about Gramps and you will understand. My point is, I texted this exact story to my cousin Tammy and all she said was, "I remember that like it was yesterday." It is worth looking back for memories like that.
I will praise every moment of today, I will certainly look forward to tomorrow, but I will never forget to occasionally look back.
As you have probably noticed by now, I relate everything to music. So I will leave you once again with a song that fits my thoughts today. "The House That Built Me"
I know they say you can't go home again
I just had to come back one last time
ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam
but these hand prints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
is where I did my Homework
and I learned to play Guitar
now I bet you didn't know
Under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing
out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave
won't take nothin' but a memory
from the house that built me
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
from Better Homes and Garden magazine
plans were drawn and concrete poured
nail by nail and board by board
daddy gave life to mama's dream
You leave home you move on and you
Do the best you can I got lost in
This old world and forgot who I am
I see it this way, if I never look back, how will I remember my Grandpa Greenfield (a.k.a. Gramps) who passed away over 10 years ago. How will I remember all the people I met in college and now only keep in touch with on Facebook if at all? How will I remember all of the toys I used to play with that are now on sale in the "vintage" section on Etsy? Those are not things I am willing to never look back for.
I was reminded of this thought the other day while driving to work. I drive west to work. The sun rises in the east. If I never look back, I don't see the sunrise. I don't want to miss this either...
Later that day, I bought a bottle of syrup at the store and noticed it said, "do not microwave" at the bottom. I giggled. As a child, our families would gather at our Grandpa Greenfield's house on Sunday nights for pizza and ice cream. Grandpa always had chocolate syrup for the ice cream. One evening, I guess we requested hot fudge. He didn't think twice, tossed the bottle in the microwave and off he went. Less than a minute later there was a loud noise and one messy microwave. It doesn't seem that funny to you I am sure. But, some day I will make an entire post about Gramps and you will understand. My point is, I texted this exact story to my cousin Tammy and all she said was, "I remember that like it was yesterday." It is worth looking back for memories like that.
I will praise every moment of today, I will certainly look forward to tomorrow, but I will never forget to occasionally look back.
As you have probably noticed by now, I relate everything to music. So I will leave you once again with a song that fits my thoughts today. "The House That Built Me"
I know they say you can't go home again
I just had to come back one last time
ma'am I know you don't know me from Adam
but these hand prints on the front steps are mine
Up those stairs in that little back bedroom
is where I did my Homework
and I learned to play Guitar
now I bet you didn't know
Under that live oak
my favorite dog is buried in the yard
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing
out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave
won't take nothin' but a memory
from the house that built me
Mama cut out pictures of houses for years
from Better Homes and Garden magazine
plans were drawn and concrete poured
nail by nail and board by board
daddy gave life to mama's dream
I thought if I could touch this place or feel it
this brokenness inside me might start healing
this brokenness inside me might start healing
out here it's like I'm someone else
I thought that maybe I could find myself
if I could just come in I swear I'll leave
won't take nothin' but a memory
from the house that built me
You leave home you move on and you
Do the best you can I got lost in
This old world and forgot who I am
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Changing up my to do list.
I woke up today with a sense of calm. Christian and I took Herky for a beautiful walk first thing. Truthfully, the sunshine was just what we needed. As we walked, Christian and I simultaneously looked up to see a jet stream. He looked at me and said, "sometimes those just amaze me." I looked back at him and said, "sometimes I think those are a sign from God." He just smiled. They amaze me every time I see them too. The sun in they sky and everything around us, reminded me that only God could create something that awesome. Christian being the comedian that he is, reminded me that Boeing had something to do with it too. I kindly replied, but God gave those people the hands to build those jets :-)
When we returned, Christian left for work. (must love tax season :-)) I sat down in my usual corner chair with my Bible to read for a while. I felt extra in need of some quiet worship time. What I read was probably what I needed to hear more than ever. My to do list needed to no longer look like this:
1) laundry
2) dishes
3) cleaning
4) errands
and needed to look like this:
1) Worship God as though I am a guest before a King. He is our friend, but he is more importantly our sovereign Lord.
2) Revitalize my worship, as worship is only as real as the involvement of those participating.
3) Be fully prepared for worship. Open my heart to it.
4) Use every opportunity to Praise God!!
5) Use music to worship.
6) Honor Christ for who he is and be willing to give him my best.
7) Have a full and true understanding of Christ. Doing so will allow me to obey him.
8) Worship in harmony and order and fully participate in the worship.
I was reading 1 Corinthians 16. It wasn't the next chapter I was supposed to read. I just decided to open my Bible and see where I landed. Clearly, it spoke to me. I ended with listening to some of my favorite music. One of my all-time favorite songs seemed to fit perfectly with what I had just read.
When we returned, Christian left for work. (must love tax season :-)) I sat down in my usual corner chair with my Bible to read for a while. I felt extra in need of some quiet worship time. What I read was probably what I needed to hear more than ever. My to do list needed to no longer look like this:
1) laundry
2) dishes
3) cleaning
4) errands
and needed to look like this:
1) Worship God as though I am a guest before a King. He is our friend, but he is more importantly our sovereign Lord.
2) Revitalize my worship, as worship is only as real as the involvement of those participating.
3) Be fully prepared for worship. Open my heart to it.
4) Use every opportunity to Praise God!!
5) Use music to worship.
6) Honor Christ for who he is and be willing to give him my best.
7) Have a full and true understanding of Christ. Doing so will allow me to obey him.
8) Worship in harmony and order and fully participate in the worship.
I was reading 1 Corinthians 16. It wasn't the next chapter I was supposed to read. I just decided to open my Bible and see where I landed. Clearly, it spoke to me. I ended with listening to some of my favorite music. One of my all-time favorite songs seemed to fit perfectly with what I had just read.
When He rolls up His sleeves
He ain't just puttin' on the ritz
our God is an awesome God
There is thunder in His footsteps
And lightning in His fist
our God is an awesome God
Well, the Lord wasn't joking
When He kicked 'em out of Eden
It wasn't for no reason that
He shed his blood
His return is very close
and so you better be believing
that our God is an awesome God
Lastly, I listened to "Here I am to Worship" ( the Randy Travis version because his voice is amazing). It fit right in as well.
Light of the world
You stepped down into darkness
Opened my eyes let me see
Beauty that made this heart adore You
Hope of a life spent with You
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me
Hope of a life spent with You
Here I am to worship
Here I am to bow down
Here I am to say that You're my God
You're altogether lovely
Altogether worthy
Altogether wonderful to me
It is safe to say, today I feel a little less broken :-)
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Broken...
Right now, I feel broken. In every way, broken. My heart, my mind, my body, my soul. I feel like there could never be enough gadgets in any tool box to fix me. But, surely that can't be, right?
I will spare you the whining and depressing, "oh my life is so horrible and stressful" crap. That's not the case. If you saw me today, you wouldn't have even known I didn't feel well. I have just learned to keep it tucked right inside where it belongs. I know, I know, probably not healthy. But it's just what I do.
What made me realize I was broken? My lovely sister-in-law Lynnetta took me to see The Vow yesterday. (On a Wednesday, at noon, popcorn for lunch, six people in the theatre, only$5, I highly recommend it.) I thought the movie was awesome. Channing Tatum is a delight to look at for 2 hours and Rachel McAdams is quite beautiful as well. It was based on a true story and it was a rather sad story at that. It was in every way, a tear jerker. But not for me. I sat there, cold as ice. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel the pain they were feeling. I just didn't. I was numb.
Numb kinda describes how I have felt for a few days now. Since last Friday really. Without going into details, Christian and I were given some pretty crappy news that day. I didn't even flinch. I just went about the day. I had to. That Saturday I woke up and thought, certainly I will feel something today. Nope, not really. I still felt numb, and empty. Sadly, that feeling hasn't left. I have felt physical pain. Pain that drove me mad. Pain that made me think, phew I am still human, I can still feel something. But thats about it.
The good news is, Christian and I have been able to move forward and know that the bad news was not the end of anything. Hopefully, it was just the beginning. In the mean time, I long to feel normal again. I can't define normal and don't want to. I just want to feel it.
I guess there is no real point to my post tonight. I just had to spill some emotion. And if you are wondering, I am not crying while typing this ;-)
I need to end on a more positive note though. So, I will share with you this:
I have had this barn frame hanging empty on my wall since my office was completed over two years ago. I could never find anything fitting to fill it with. Yesterday my niece Samantha brought this drawing to me after she got home from school. This made me feel joy for so many reasons. 1) Samantha is so talented and artistic. I look forward to the day she gets to put all her talents to use! 2) She drew this picture with Sharpies. This may sound weird, but I am full on obsessed with Sharpies. 3) When she gave it to me she said, "Aunt Bootsee, I was going to make a G for Greenfield, but then I said, wait, she is a Kerr now." 4) The picture was actually too big and it hung out of the bottom of the frame. As I was pondering how to make that work she kindly said, "oh you can just cut off the bottom if it doesn't fit, I don't mind." She is a precious one.
I will spare you the whining and depressing, "oh my life is so horrible and stressful" crap. That's not the case. If you saw me today, you wouldn't have even known I didn't feel well. I have just learned to keep it tucked right inside where it belongs. I know, I know, probably not healthy. But it's just what I do.
What made me realize I was broken? My lovely sister-in-law Lynnetta took me to see The Vow yesterday. (On a Wednesday, at noon, popcorn for lunch, six people in the theatre, only$5, I highly recommend it.) I thought the movie was awesome. Channing Tatum is a delight to look at for 2 hours and Rachel McAdams is quite beautiful as well. It was based on a true story and it was a rather sad story at that. It was in every way, a tear jerker. But not for me. I sat there, cold as ice. I wanted to cry. I wanted to feel the pain they were feeling. I just didn't. I was numb.
Numb kinda describes how I have felt for a few days now. Since last Friday really. Without going into details, Christian and I were given some pretty crappy news that day. I didn't even flinch. I just went about the day. I had to. That Saturday I woke up and thought, certainly I will feel something today. Nope, not really. I still felt numb, and empty. Sadly, that feeling hasn't left. I have felt physical pain. Pain that drove me mad. Pain that made me think, phew I am still human, I can still feel something. But thats about it.
The good news is, Christian and I have been able to move forward and know that the bad news was not the end of anything. Hopefully, it was just the beginning. In the mean time, I long to feel normal again. I can't define normal and don't want to. I just want to feel it.
I guess there is no real point to my post tonight. I just had to spill some emotion. And if you are wondering, I am not crying while typing this ;-)
I need to end on a more positive note though. So, I will share with you this:
I have had this barn frame hanging empty on my wall since my office was completed over two years ago. I could never find anything fitting to fill it with. Yesterday my niece Samantha brought this drawing to me after she got home from school. This made me feel joy for so many reasons. 1) Samantha is so talented and artistic. I look forward to the day she gets to put all her talents to use! 2) She drew this picture with Sharpies. This may sound weird, but I am full on obsessed with Sharpies. 3) When she gave it to me she said, "Aunt Bootsee, I was going to make a G for Greenfield, but then I said, wait, she is a Kerr now." 4) The picture was actually too big and it hung out of the bottom of the frame. As I was pondering how to make that work she kindly said, "oh you can just cut off the bottom if it doesn't fit, I don't mind." She is a precious one.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Restless heart....
Today, I feel very very restless. I needed to look for ways to distract myself and look for ways to calm my mind. Typically, I don't have a hard time doing that. I can find something to look up online, read a few pages out of the 20 books I am reading at any given point, or attempt to start a project that probably will never get finished. But, today was different. I just needed my mind to be free. Not tied down to a ton of emotions or thoughts. I just needed to be at ease.
I looked to Brendan, my 5 year old nephew, for that feeling today. I don't remember being 5, or at least not much of it. But, I can look at Brendan and no it was a good time. For the last two days I have gone to eat lunch at his house. Both days ,when I arrived, he was in nothing but his undies. (One day he will no longer allow me to share these stories so I need to do it now :-)) One might think, boy, put on some clothes. I just laugh. I laugh hard. He is not half naked because he doesn't like clothes. He is half naked because on Kung Fu Panda they are half naked. Or because one day, "well the dog wasn't wearing any pants." Seems like a good enough reason to me. He is happy. He is free. I understand, he is 5. He hasn't faced life's battles yet and I pray with all my heart he never meets a battle he can't win. But, seeing life through his eyes is refreshing. His imagination, his love for all things pirate, his pure passion to be just like the grown up boys in basketball uniforms, and the best yet, his unwavering love for candy. That kid is definitely related to me. Today, I was in luck. His mom busted out the candy basket. I secretly love it when that happens. I don't mean like a couple little snickers and a hershey's kiss candy basket. We are talking, baby ruths, twizzlers, left over Valentine's candy, and oh yes sweet tarts. This is like Christmas when she pulls out the candy basket. It's just that simple. In the hour I spent there, I was free of any bogged down emotions. My mind was right where it needed to be. I was at ease.
As I drove home from work tonight, I received an email from our tax accountant. He wanted to let me know I had done "an outstanding job" at keeping Greenfield Farms books for the year. It was my first year doing our books completely on my own. No one to review my work. It was all on me. As an accountant, I am obsessed with attention to detail and wanting all things just right. So, I have to admit, I was pretty proud of his compliment. In fact, I may have called a couple people to brag about it. But, in that moment, I was also at ease. I had done my job, and done it well.
So today my distractions were a little different. However, they took my mind where it needed to go. I can have sweet dreams now........
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Laughter when I need it the most
Up until about an hour ago, laughter had been non existent today. I am having some pain that has caused me to be a tad on the grouchy side. Nothing I can't handle. But you know, sometimes you just feel like being crabby and today I felt I had good enough reason. The problem is, my wonderful husband just so happens to be on the receiving end of my not so pleasant mood. "You are not sympathetic enough" You have not even asked how I am doing" "You didn't do this" "You didn't do that" Yeah, I was "that" girl today. I admit it. I own it.
The funny thing is, he sucks it up, and goes on with a smile. He momentarily acts annoyed and then its over. I am lucky. Very lucky. So lucky that when we went to Culvers drive through for dinner tonight, this is what happened...... We pulled up to the order screen. I told him I wanted a cheeseburger. He says, watch this, and proceeds to order me a cheeseBOOGER. I died. We were both laughing so hard we couldn't finish our order. Then the poor girl taking our order was trying not to laugh. It wasn't even that funny and most would find it awfully immature. But, it was just what we needed. It made me laugh when I didn't want to. It made the pain go away. That is just what my dear husband does for me.
They say laughter is the best medicine and today it was just that.
The funny thing is, he sucks it up, and goes on with a smile. He momentarily acts annoyed and then its over. I am lucky. Very lucky. So lucky that when we went to Culvers drive through for dinner tonight, this is what happened...... We pulled up to the order screen. I told him I wanted a cheeseburger. He says, watch this, and proceeds to order me a cheeseBOOGER. I died. We were both laughing so hard we couldn't finish our order. Then the poor girl taking our order was trying not to laugh. It wasn't even that funny and most would find it awfully immature. But, it was just what we needed. It made me laugh when I didn't want to. It made the pain go away. That is just what my dear husband does for me.
They say laughter is the best medicine and today it was just that.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Danke!
Today my heart is in the shape of a thank you card.
My sister-in-law Emily was kind enough to accompany me on a road trip today. It was a very important place I was off to. Its a frequent trip as of late. An hour and half drive can get a little boring sometimes. I didn't ask her to go along. She offered. In fact, she said...I am excited.
We hit my appointment right on time and were back on the road in no time. We grabbed Panera for lunch on the way out of town. We were in line to order. It was way busy. I had already ordered. I turned to her and said, go ahead Em, she is ready for your order. She in all seriousness, looked at me and said, "but, are you getting dessert?" Best. Line. Ever. This is why I take her places with me.
At this point she had already thanked me several times for bringing her along and for such a great time she was having. When I dropped her off she thanked me again for taking her. And yep, I got home and had a text from her thanking me again. Wait one second, I should be thanking YOU. YOU made my drive so much easier. YOU made me laugh all day. YOU made my day special. So, THANK YOU!
I am just thankful tonight. Thats all :-)
My sister-in-law Emily was kind enough to accompany me on a road trip today. It was a very important place I was off to. Its a frequent trip as of late. An hour and half drive can get a little boring sometimes. I didn't ask her to go along. She offered. In fact, she said...I am excited.
We hit my appointment right on time and were back on the road in no time. We grabbed Panera for lunch on the way out of town. We were in line to order. It was way busy. I had already ordered. I turned to her and said, go ahead Em, she is ready for your order. She in all seriousness, looked at me and said, "but, are you getting dessert?" Best. Line. Ever. This is why I take her places with me.
At this point she had already thanked me several times for bringing her along and for such a great time she was having. When I dropped her off she thanked me again for taking her. And yep, I got home and had a text from her thanking me again. Wait one second, I should be thanking YOU. YOU made my drive so much easier. YOU made me laugh all day. YOU made my day special. So, THANK YOU!
I am just thankful tonight. Thats all :-)
Friday, February 3, 2012
I need more frequent flier miles!
Today my heart is in the shape of a road map. A road map that leads to so many family and friends. A road map I wish was traveled more. And a road map that leads to many memories still to be made.
Christian and I are blessed to have a fairly large family and a great group of friends. It just so happens distance keeps us from sharing as much time with each of them as we would like. We travel as often as we possibly can to see our loved ones. However, we sure could use a few more days in a year to get that all accomplished.
My immediate family lives about 30 miles away. I have some aunts, uncles and cousins within 20-30 miles as well. And, we have a couple sets of friends and neighbors that live close by too. But, the rest of our loved ones, well, looks a little something like this.....
Aunt Gail, Uncle Larry,
Kelli, Kenadee,
Kevin, Samantha & Savannah/ Cary, NC/ 890 miles
Christy, Kevin & girls/ Marietta, GA/ 761 miles
Aunt Pat & Uncle Jon/ Acworth, GA/ 749 miles
Kelly/ South Lyon, MI/ 351 miles
Aunt Flo, Uncle Ron,
Lisa & boys/ St. Peter's, MO/ 320 miles
Darin & Steph/ Iowa City, IA/ 181 miles
Jodi, Doug & boys/ Bloomington, IL/ 140 miles
Nikki & Leila/ Davenport, IA/ 135 miles
Steve, Jennifer, & MacKensie/ Bettendorf, IA/ 127 miles
Mom & Dan/ Le Claire, IA/ 121 miles
Greg & Kim/ Chicago, IL/ 94.5 miles
Sam/ Berwyn, IL/ 92.6 miles
Dan, Elodie, & Lauren/ Wheaton, IL/ 90.8 miles
Brad, Mandy, & baby/ Winfield, IL/ 87.8 miles
Tammy & Matt/ Morton Grove, IL/ 86.8 miles
Traci, Mark & girls/ Dubuque, IA/ 86.1 miles
Laurie/ Park Ridge, IL / 81.8 miles
Shazette, Greg & twins/ Aurora, IL/ 78.3 miles
Aunt Sharon & Uncle Larry/ Madison, WI/ 51.6 miles
For fun, I decided to add up the miles that separate us from a lot of our loved ones.
And the grand total is.................... 10,983.3!!!
Thats too many! Instead of more days in a year, I think we need a private jet...:-)
In the mean time, we use this as an excuse to visit some of our favorite places. Texas just so happens to be my favorite state. I have the in-laws to thank for that one :-) California has amazing weather and some pretty amazing shopping too. So, Dad and Kath...you rock! All of our Chicago folks give us a chance to visit the places we once called home before we moved back to Winnebago. Taryn, as much as I miss you and the fam.... I can't snowboard in Illinois! Aunt Gail and Uncle Larry....thanks for the east coast lovin, not to mention you live near some of the most amazing college campuses ever! Christy and Kevin, I guess we have you to thank for setting up shop in Georgia so I can get my fix of southern charm once in a while! Ron and Flo, you made me a Cardinals fan. ;-) And finally, I think I will always be a midwest girl. So, Mom and Dan, thanks for being only one state away because I do love myself some Iowa!!
Today is one of those days where I sit in front of this computer and thank God he made someone smart enough to create internet, email, Facebook, and all the other things that keep us "close" to those that are so far away.
As I roll up my road map, tuck it away until we head out on the road to make our next visit, I remember one star that may not be on the map, but will one day be the location for us all......I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs.....
Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge
A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished
There's a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road
He'd be there peelin' peaches if it was twenty years ago
And what I wouldn't give
To ride around in that old truck with him
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of '99
And I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time
I'd ask Hank why he took those pills back in '53
And Janis to sing the second verse of "Me and Bobby McGee
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It'd do me good just to see them smile
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far away
So far away
So far away
XOXO
Christian and I are blessed to have a fairly large family and a great group of friends. It just so happens distance keeps us from sharing as much time with each of them as we would like. We travel as often as we possibly can to see our loved ones. However, we sure could use a few more days in a year to get that all accomplished.
My immediate family lives about 30 miles away. I have some aunts, uncles and cousins within 20-30 miles as well. And, we have a couple sets of friends and neighbors that live close by too. But, the rest of our loved ones, well, looks a little something like this.....
Dad & Kathy/ San Jacinto, CA/ 1,968 miles
Uncle Dirk/ Surfside, TX/ 1,198 miles
Uncle Scott & Aunt Robin
Christoper, Matthew & Grandma/ Lake Jackson, TX/ 1,187 miles
Bryan & Brittany / Austin, TX / 1,143 miles
Taryn, Chandler & boys/ Denver, CO/ 962 milesAunt Gail, Uncle Larry,
Kelli, Kenadee,
Kevin, Samantha & Savannah/ Cary, NC/ 890 miles
Christy, Kevin & girls/ Marietta, GA/ 761 miles
Aunt Pat & Uncle Jon/ Acworth, GA/ 749 miles
Kelly/ South Lyon, MI/ 351 miles
Aunt Flo, Uncle Ron,
Lisa & boys/ St. Peter's, MO/ 320 miles
Darin & Steph/ Iowa City, IA/ 181 miles
Jodi, Doug & boys/ Bloomington, IL/ 140 miles
Nikki & Leila/ Davenport, IA/ 135 miles
Steve, Jennifer, & MacKensie/ Bettendorf, IA/ 127 miles
Mom & Dan/ Le Claire, IA/ 121 miles
Greg & Kim/ Chicago, IL/ 94.5 miles
Sam/ Berwyn, IL/ 92.6 miles
Dan, Elodie, & Lauren/ Wheaton, IL/ 90.8 miles
Brad, Mandy, & baby/ Winfield, IL/ 87.8 miles
Tammy & Matt/ Morton Grove, IL/ 86.8 miles
Traci, Mark & girls/ Dubuque, IA/ 86.1 miles
Laurie/ Park Ridge, IL / 81.8 miles
Shazette, Greg & twins/ Aurora, IL/ 78.3 miles
Aunt Sharon & Uncle Larry/ Madison, WI/ 51.6 miles
For fun, I decided to add up the miles that separate us from a lot of our loved ones.
And the grand total is.................... 10,983.3!!!
Thats too many! Instead of more days in a year, I think we need a private jet...:-)
In the mean time, we use this as an excuse to visit some of our favorite places. Texas just so happens to be my favorite state. I have the in-laws to thank for that one :-) California has amazing weather and some pretty amazing shopping too. So, Dad and Kath...you rock! All of our Chicago folks give us a chance to visit the places we once called home before we moved back to Winnebago. Taryn, as much as I miss you and the fam.... I can't snowboard in Illinois! Aunt Gail and Uncle Larry....thanks for the east coast lovin, not to mention you live near some of the most amazing college campuses ever! Christy and Kevin, I guess we have you to thank for setting up shop in Georgia so I can get my fix of southern charm once in a while! Ron and Flo, you made me a Cardinals fan. ;-) And finally, I think I will always be a midwest girl. So, Mom and Dan, thanks for being only one state away because I do love myself some Iowa!!
Today is one of those days where I sit in front of this computer and thank God he made someone smart enough to create internet, email, Facebook, and all the other things that keep us "close" to those that are so far away.
As I roll up my road map, tuck it away until we head out on the road to make our next visit, I remember one star that may not be on the map, but will one day be the location for us all......I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs.....
Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge
A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished
There's a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road
He'd be there peelin' peaches if it was twenty years ago
And what I wouldn't give
To ride around in that old truck with him
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of '99
And I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time
I'd ask Hank why he took those pills back in '53
And Janis to sing the second verse of "Me and Bobby McGee
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It'd do me good just to see them smile
If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far away
So far away
So far away
XOXO
Friday, January 27, 2012
Inspiration running wild...
I'm not one for inspirational quotes. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy them. I read a ton that I think are great. But, that's the problem. I read them, I think they sound very inspirational, and then I move on. I need more than a few lines of words with a pretty background to get me going!
That being said, today I found myself inspired and motivated and in three very different instances. And I came loaded with pictures to share my story today.
On my way home from Zumba class this morning, I was day dreaming about what I was going to have for lunch. That's a regular occurrence for me. I like to eat, all. the. time. Ironically, as I was driving on the tree-lined back road leading up to our house, I noticed this:
An Arby's bag just barely hanging from a tree in the ditch. It reminded me of a couple weeks ago. I had taken Herky for a long walk. He came across a Culver's bag. So I thought. It was a Culver's bag FULL of food. Sandwich, fries, cheese curds, the whole deal. (By the way, it should be a federal offense to throw away perfectly good Culver's food. Just sayin.) Silly, yes. But, made me think. Who does that? Why is it necessary to toss garbage out of your window? I guess I just don't get it.
I purposely drive a different way to work every day just to admire the beauty of what God has built for us. Trees, grass (well in the summer anyways), fields, cows, barns and the list could go on and on. Why cover that up with brown paper bags? It just seems like common sense to me to save your garbage for the trash can. The inspiration I find in all this: treat what we have been given, with respect. I could stand to be better at this myself. And it seems very simple.
I thought I was already done for the day at this point. Oh no, I was just getting started. I excitedly opened a piece of mail from a friend when I got home. I must back up and tell you a little about this friend. Her name is Shazette. I met her about 4-5 years ago at my job in Chicago. I loved her immediately. She is hilarious. She is kind. She tells it like it is. And, she is now one of the most amazing and strongest mothers I have ever known. In July 2011, after an already rough road, she was blessed with two beautiful babies. Jackson and Paige. Her sweet baby boy Jackson was born with a heart problem. He faced several surgeries and was in the hospital for months before ever coming home to join his twin sister. The entire time, I could not imagine the pain that Jackson, and his mommy and daddy, were dealing with. All I could do was pray. Pray that Jackson's heart could be repaired and that he would grow up to be a strong healthy boy. Well, this is what I received today:
Is that inspiring or what? That little guy has been through more in six months than I have been through in my entire life. I think I am doing alright! And Shazette, I am one lucky gal to call you and Greg my friends.
And the day just continued. I decided to take this guy:
on a date to Pet Smart. Its kinda our favorite thing to do. Well, Herky made a friend in the toy isle. She was pulling toys out and letting him sniff them, rubbing his belly, telling him how handsome he was. Herky lives for attention so he was in heaven. As we checked out, the checkout gal asked if he could have a treat. Dumb question. Of course he can. Before she could even get the treat out I hear, "oh wait let me get him the good stuff." Herky's friend was in line behind us and was going to open a bag of the extra yummy treats she was buying and give him one. So, Herky sat like a good boy and swallowed it whole. We go to leave and she says, "here ring this up quick I am sending this home with his mommy." She paid for the bag of treats and sent it home with Herky. That just doesn't happen every day. Most of the time, we are in such a hurry to get in and out, take care of OUR needs and move along with our day. I wanted to hug her. She reminded me that I need to be more kind. To be more patient, and give more to others. She is a special lady and I don't even know her name.
I will go to bed tonight with a very strong sense of inspiration. I will treat God's blessings as just that, blessings. I will be strong, as I have faced no where near the troubles as others have. And, I will be a more giving and kind person.
That being said, today I found myself inspired and motivated and in three very different instances. And I came loaded with pictures to share my story today.
On my way home from Zumba class this morning, I was day dreaming about what I was going to have for lunch. That's a regular occurrence for me. I like to eat, all. the. time. Ironically, as I was driving on the tree-lined back road leading up to our house, I noticed this:
An Arby's bag just barely hanging from a tree in the ditch. It reminded me of a couple weeks ago. I had taken Herky for a long walk. He came across a Culver's bag. So I thought. It was a Culver's bag FULL of food. Sandwich, fries, cheese curds, the whole deal. (By the way, it should be a federal offense to throw away perfectly good Culver's food. Just sayin.) Silly, yes. But, made me think. Who does that? Why is it necessary to toss garbage out of your window? I guess I just don't get it.
I purposely drive a different way to work every day just to admire the beauty of what God has built for us. Trees, grass (well in the summer anyways), fields, cows, barns and the list could go on and on. Why cover that up with brown paper bags? It just seems like common sense to me to save your garbage for the trash can. The inspiration I find in all this: treat what we have been given, with respect. I could stand to be better at this myself. And it seems very simple.
I thought I was already done for the day at this point. Oh no, I was just getting started. I excitedly opened a piece of mail from a friend when I got home. I must back up and tell you a little about this friend. Her name is Shazette. I met her about 4-5 years ago at my job in Chicago. I loved her immediately. She is hilarious. She is kind. She tells it like it is. And, she is now one of the most amazing and strongest mothers I have ever known. In July 2011, after an already rough road, she was blessed with two beautiful babies. Jackson and Paige. Her sweet baby boy Jackson was born with a heart problem. He faced several surgeries and was in the hospital for months before ever coming home to join his twin sister. The entire time, I could not imagine the pain that Jackson, and his mommy and daddy, were dealing with. All I could do was pray. Pray that Jackson's heart could be repaired and that he would grow up to be a strong healthy boy. Well, this is what I received today:
Is that inspiring or what? That little guy has been through more in six months than I have been through in my entire life. I think I am doing alright! And Shazette, I am one lucky gal to call you and Greg my friends.
And the day just continued. I decided to take this guy:
on a date to Pet Smart. Its kinda our favorite thing to do. Well, Herky made a friend in the toy isle. She was pulling toys out and letting him sniff them, rubbing his belly, telling him how handsome he was. Herky lives for attention so he was in heaven. As we checked out, the checkout gal asked if he could have a treat. Dumb question. Of course he can. Before she could even get the treat out I hear, "oh wait let me get him the good stuff." Herky's friend was in line behind us and was going to open a bag of the extra yummy treats she was buying and give him one. So, Herky sat like a good boy and swallowed it whole. We go to leave and she says, "here ring this up quick I am sending this home with his mommy." She paid for the bag of treats and sent it home with Herky. That just doesn't happen every day. Most of the time, we are in such a hurry to get in and out, take care of OUR needs and move along with our day. I wanted to hug her. She reminded me that I need to be more kind. To be more patient, and give more to others. She is a special lady and I don't even know her name.
I will go to bed tonight with a very strong sense of inspiration. I will treat God's blessings as just that, blessings. I will be strong, as I have faced no where near the troubles as others have. And, I will be a more giving and kind person.
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
A full heart, full of love that is...
With February fast approaching, and my secret obsession with Valentine's Day, what better time than now to talk about love. If you read my profile, you know that my family is kinda my world. Today my family made my heart full. Full to the brim with love.
Let me give you a little background on my family. My Dad's side shares what we have termed, the Greenfield hug. In other words, we don't hug. We are not affectionate. We rarely gush the words, "I love you." It's just how we roll. My Mom's side, thats a different story. Hugs, kisses, crying, you name it...we do it. I fall right in the middle of all that. Hence the reason I am writing a blog on emotions, but may or may not hug you the next time I see you :-) I also had a boss ask me a while back, "were you close to your Uncle (he had just passed away)?" I found that to be an odd question. Because, why wouldn't I be? I don't talk to extended family on the phone every day. I don't go to dinner with them twice a week. I don't even call them on their birthday. But that doesn't mean we aren't close right? Closeness to me means, loving them.
Anyways, back to today. As I drove home, I realized I had smiled a lot today. And each time it was because of the love I received from or gave to my family. And this is how it went....
1) Last night I received a text right before bed from my sister-in-law Emily. She loved my blog and she was so excited for me she almost cried (she married into the family so she does cry ;-)). Next, my cousin and bestie Tammy texted. She thought my blog was cute and she was my first follower. Yep, I woke up smiling today.
2) My Uncle Lyle has called me three or four times in the last few days. I didn't even know he had my cell phone number. Lyle is one of "those" family members that isn't into hugging. In fact, when I see him, he shakes my hand. Well, he called again this morning. His calls, very simply, make my day.
3) Uncle Steve walked into our office this morning as well (I work for our family business). And you guessed it, he's in the "no hugging" category too. He doesn't even say hi. But, he does feed my 2 year old yellow lab chocolate, and twizzlers, and beef jerky, and more chocolate. So, it makes me smile and it sure makes my dog happy too.
3) My mom called to ask if I, along with my nephew and sister-in-law, wanted to meet for lunch at our favorite local spot. I didn't even bring my wallet. She always treats us. Need I say more?
4) Cue time to leave for lunch. My gas tank could not be more empty. Dad, to the rescue. Its winter, its cold, its icy. He WALKED to the gas tank, while I drove. I sat in the warm car while he pumped the gas. And, he did all of that without the blink of an eye. You know that LMFAO song, "I'm Sexy and I Know It??" My version would be "Im Spoiled and I Know It" :-)
5)My husband is out of town for work. He texted me this afternoon and asked how much I missed him. That's all. :-)
6)I have mixed feelings about Facebook. I hate it for a lot of reasons. I don't care what you had for dinner. Sorry, I just don't. But, I do love it for the opportunity to stay in contact with family and friends I may otherwise be distanced from. My cousin Scott popped up on Facebook chat about 5 minutes before I was to walk out of the office for the day. I was thrilled. He lives about 10 minutes from me and I see him maybe once a year. He has twin sons about to head off for college to play football and baseball. Thats a big deal in my book. And, in the few short moments we chatted, I was able to congratulate him and his sons on their accomplishments. I can tell how very proud he is. Again, I just smiled.
That, my friends, is a good day.
Let me give you a little background on my family. My Dad's side shares what we have termed, the Greenfield hug. In other words, we don't hug. We are not affectionate. We rarely gush the words, "I love you." It's just how we roll. My Mom's side, thats a different story. Hugs, kisses, crying, you name it...we do it. I fall right in the middle of all that. Hence the reason I am writing a blog on emotions, but may or may not hug you the next time I see you :-) I also had a boss ask me a while back, "were you close to your Uncle (he had just passed away)?" I found that to be an odd question. Because, why wouldn't I be? I don't talk to extended family on the phone every day. I don't go to dinner with them twice a week. I don't even call them on their birthday. But that doesn't mean we aren't close right? Closeness to me means, loving them.
Anyways, back to today. As I drove home, I realized I had smiled a lot today. And each time it was because of the love I received from or gave to my family. And this is how it went....
1) Last night I received a text right before bed from my sister-in-law Emily. She loved my blog and she was so excited for me she almost cried (she married into the family so she does cry ;-)). Next, my cousin and bestie Tammy texted. She thought my blog was cute and she was my first follower. Yep, I woke up smiling today.
2) My Uncle Lyle has called me three or four times in the last few days. I didn't even know he had my cell phone number. Lyle is one of "those" family members that isn't into hugging. In fact, when I see him, he shakes my hand. Well, he called again this morning. His calls, very simply, make my day.
3) Uncle Steve walked into our office this morning as well (I work for our family business). And you guessed it, he's in the "no hugging" category too. He doesn't even say hi. But, he does feed my 2 year old yellow lab chocolate, and twizzlers, and beef jerky, and more chocolate. So, it makes me smile and it sure makes my dog happy too.
3) My mom called to ask if I, along with my nephew and sister-in-law, wanted to meet for lunch at our favorite local spot. I didn't even bring my wallet. She always treats us. Need I say more?
4) Cue time to leave for lunch. My gas tank could not be more empty. Dad, to the rescue. Its winter, its cold, its icy. He WALKED to the gas tank, while I drove. I sat in the warm car while he pumped the gas. And, he did all of that without the blink of an eye. You know that LMFAO song, "I'm Sexy and I Know It??" My version would be "Im Spoiled and I Know It" :-)
5)My husband is out of town for work. He texted me this afternoon and asked how much I missed him. That's all. :-)
6)I have mixed feelings about Facebook. I hate it for a lot of reasons. I don't care what you had for dinner. Sorry, I just don't. But, I do love it for the opportunity to stay in contact with family and friends I may otherwise be distanced from. My cousin Scott popped up on Facebook chat about 5 minutes before I was to walk out of the office for the day. I was thrilled. He lives about 10 minutes from me and I see him maybe once a year. He has twin sons about to head off for college to play football and baseball. Thats a big deal in my book. And, in the few short moments we chatted, I was able to congratulate him and his sons on their accomplishments. I can tell how very proud he is. Again, I just smiled.
That, my friends, is a good day.
Monday, January 23, 2012
And I am off....
Ok, so here goes nothing. I started my blog. I have put this off for a long time. I thought, certainly, no one wants to read about me. And they still might not want to. But, then I thought, who cares? I feel like writing...there may be someone who feels like reading. My intentions for this blog are to simply express emotions. Whether they are happy, sad, painful or glad. I am an emotional gal, just ask my husband. :-) However, I know I am not the only one! And the best way for me to express my emotions is by sharing them with those around me. Some days I might share what made me laugh. Others I might share what made me cry. Either way, you will know the "shapes of me heart" at all times! ;-)
I should have started by saying, I am a horrible writer. I write like I talk. And to say the least, my high school English teacher wouldn't be all that proud. But she never cared for me anyways. So, oh well!
I look forward to posting on here as often as I can and I hope at least a few of you enjoy reading it!
I should have started by saying, I am a horrible writer. I write like I talk. And to say the least, my high school English teacher wouldn't be all that proud. But she never cared for me anyways. So, oh well!
I look forward to posting on here as often as I can and I hope at least a few of you enjoy reading it!
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