Restless heart....

Today, I feel very very restless.  I needed to look for ways to distract myself and look for ways to calm my mind.  Typically, I don't have a hard time doing that.  I can find something to look up online, read a few pages out of the 20 books I am reading at any given point, or attempt to start a project that probably will never get finished.  But, today was different.  I just needed my mind to be free.  Not tied down to a ton of emotions or thoughts.  I just needed to be at ease.

I looked to Brendan, my 5 year old nephew, for that feeling today.  I don't remember being 5, or at least not much of it.  But, I can look at Brendan and no it was a good time.  For the last two days I have gone to eat lunch at his house.  Both days ,when I arrived, he was in nothing but his undies.  (One day he will no longer allow me to share these stories so I need to do it now :-))  One might think, boy, put on some clothes.  I just laugh.  I laugh hard.  He is not half naked because he doesn't like clothes.  He is half naked because on Kung Fu Panda they are half naked.  Or because one day, "well the dog wasn't wearing any pants."  Seems like a good enough reason to me.  He is happy.  He is free.  I understand, he is 5.  He hasn't faced life's battles yet and I pray with all my heart he never meets a battle he can't win.  But, seeing life through his eyes is refreshing.  His imagination, his love for all things pirate, his pure passion to be just like the grown up boys in basketball uniforms, and the best yet, his unwavering love for candy.  That kid is definitely related to me. Today, I was in luck.  His mom busted out the candy basket.  I secretly love it when that happens.  I don't mean like a couple little snickers and a hershey's kiss candy basket.  We are talking, baby ruths, twizzlers, left over Valentine's candy, and oh yes sweet tarts.  This is like Christmas when she pulls out the candy basket.    It's just that simple.  In the hour I spent there, I was free of any bogged down emotions.  My mind was right where it needed to be.  I was at ease.

As I drove home from work tonight, I received an email from our tax accountant.  He wanted to let me know I had done "an outstanding job" at keeping Greenfield Farms books for the year.  It was my first year doing our books completely on my own.  No one to review my work.  It was all on me.  As an accountant, I am obsessed with attention to detail and wanting all things just right.  So, I have to admit, I was pretty proud of his compliment.  In fact, I may have called a couple people to brag about it.  But, in that moment, I was also at ease.  I had done my job, and done it well.

So today my distractions were a little different.  However, they took my mind where it needed to go.   I can have sweet dreams now........