Restless heart....

Today, I feel very very restless.  I needed to look for ways to distract myself and look for ways to calm my mind.  Typically, I don't have a hard time doing that.  I can find something to look up online, read a few pages out of the 20 books I am reading at any given point, or attempt to start a project that probably will never get finished.  But, today was different.  I just needed my mind to be free.  Not tied down to a ton of emotions or thoughts.  I just needed to be at ease.

I looked to Brendan, my 5 year old nephew, for that feeling today.  I don't remember being 5, or at least not much of it.  But, I can look at Brendan and no it was a good time.  For the last two days I have gone to eat lunch at his house.  Both days ,when I arrived, he was in nothing but his undies.  (One day he will no longer allow me to share these stories so I need to do it now :-))  One might think, boy, put on some clothes.  I just laugh.  I laugh hard.  He is not half naked because he doesn't like clothes.  He is half naked because on Kung Fu Panda they are half naked.  Or because one day, "well the dog wasn't wearing any pants."  Seems like a good enough reason to me.  He is happy.  He is free.  I understand, he is 5.  He hasn't faced life's battles yet and I pray with all my heart he never meets a battle he can't win.  But, seeing life through his eyes is refreshing.  His imagination, his love for all things pirate, his pure passion to be just like the grown up boys in basketball uniforms, and the best yet, his unwavering love for candy.  That kid is definitely related to me. Today, I was in luck.  His mom busted out the candy basket.  I secretly love it when that happens.  I don't mean like a couple little snickers and a hershey's kiss candy basket.  We are talking, baby ruths, twizzlers, left over Valentine's candy, and oh yes sweet tarts.  This is like Christmas when she pulls out the candy basket.    It's just that simple.  In the hour I spent there, I was free of any bogged down emotions.  My mind was right where it needed to be.  I was at ease.

As I drove home from work tonight, I received an email from our tax accountant.  He wanted to let me know I had done "an outstanding job" at keeping Greenfield Farms books for the year.  It was my first year doing our books completely on my own.  No one to review my work.  It was all on me.  As an accountant, I am obsessed with attention to detail and wanting all things just right.  So, I have to admit, I was pretty proud of his compliment.  In fact, I may have called a couple people to brag about it.  But, in that moment, I was also at ease.  I had done my job, and done it well.

So today my distractions were a little different.  However, they took my mind where it needed to go.   I can have sweet dreams now........

Laughter when I need it the most

Up until about an hour ago, laughter had been non existent today.  I am having some pain that has caused me to be a tad on the grouchy side.  Nothing I can't handle.  But you know, sometimes you just feel like being crabby and today I felt I had good enough reason.  The problem is, my wonderful husband just so happens to be on the receiving end of my not so pleasant mood.   "You are not sympathetic enough"  You have not even asked how I am doing"  "You didn't do this" "You didn't do that"   Yeah, I was "that" girl today.    I admit it.  I own it.

The funny thing is, he sucks it up, and goes on with a smile.  He momentarily acts annoyed and then its over.  I am lucky.  Very lucky.  So lucky that when we went to Culvers drive through for dinner tonight, this is what happened...... We pulled up to the order screen.  I told him I wanted a cheeseburger.  He says, watch this, and proceeds to order me a cheeseBOOGER.   I died.  We were both laughing so hard we couldn't finish our order.  Then the poor girl taking our order was trying not to laugh.  It wasn't even that funny and most would find it awfully immature.  But, it was just what we needed.  It made me laugh when I didn't want to.  It made the pain go away.  That is just what my dear husband does for me.

They say laughter is the best medicine and today it was just that.

Danke!

Today my heart is in the shape of a thank you card.

My sister-in-law Emily was kind enough to accompany me on a road trip today.  It was a very important place I was off to.  Its a frequent trip as of late.  An hour and half drive can get a little boring sometimes.  I didn't ask her to go along.   She offered.  In fact, she said...I am excited.

We hit my appointment right on time and were back on the road in no time.  We grabbed Panera for lunch on the way out of town.  We were in line to order.  It was way busy.  I had already ordered. I turned to her and said, go ahead Em, she is ready for your order.  She in all seriousness, looked at me and said, "but, are you getting dessert?"   Best. Line. Ever.   This is why I take her places with me.

At this point she had already thanked me several times for bringing her along and for such a great time she was having. When I dropped her off she thanked me again for taking her.  And yep, I got home and had a text from her thanking me again.   Wait one second, I should be thanking YOU.  YOU made my drive so much easier.  YOU made me laugh all day.  YOU made my day special. So, THANK YOU!

I am just thankful tonight.  Thats all :-)

I need more frequent flier miles!

Today my heart is in the shape of a road map.  A road map that leads to so many family and friends.  A road map I wish was traveled more.  And a road map that leads to many memories still to be made.

Christian and I are blessed to have a fairly large family and a great group of friends. It just so happens distance keeps us from sharing as much time with each of them as we would like.  We travel as often as we possibly can to see our loved ones.  However, we sure could use a few more days in a year to get that all accomplished.

My immediate family lives about 30 miles away.  I have some aunts, uncles and cousins within 20-30 miles as well.  And, we have a couple sets of friends and neighbors that live close by too.  But, the rest of our loved ones, well, looks a little something like this.....

Dad & Kathy/ San Jacinto, CA/ 1,968 miles

Uncle Dirk/ Surfside, TX/ 1,198 miles

Uncle Scott & Aunt Robin   

Christoper, Matthew & Grandma/ Lake Jackson, TX/ 1,187 miles

Bryan & Brittany / Austin, TX / 1,143 miles

Taryn, Chandler & boys/ Denver, CO/ 962 miles
Aunt Gail, Uncle Larry,
Kelli, Kenadee,
Kevin, Samantha & Savannah/ Cary, NC/ 890 miles
Christy, Kevin & girls/ Marietta, GA/ 761 miles
Aunt Pat & Uncle Jon/ Acworth, GA/ 749 miles
Kelly/ South Lyon, MI/ 351 miles
Aunt Flo, Uncle Ron,
Lisa & boys/ St. Peter's, MO/ 320 miles
Darin & Steph/ Iowa City, IA/ 181 miles
Jodi, Doug & boys/ Bloomington, IL/ 140 miles
Nikki & Leila/ Davenport, IA/ 135 miles
Steve, Jennifer, & MacKensie/ Bettendorf, IA/ 127 miles
Mom & Dan/  Le Claire, IA/  121 miles
Greg & Kim/ Chicago, IL/ 94.5 miles
Sam/ Berwyn, IL/ 92.6 miles
Dan, Elodie, & Lauren/ Wheaton, IL/ 90.8 miles
Brad, Mandy, & baby/ Winfield, IL/ 87.8 miles
Tammy & Matt/ Morton Grove, IL/ 86.8 miles
Traci, Mark & girls/ Dubuque, IA/ 86.1 miles
Laurie/ Park Ridge, IL / 81.8 miles
Shazette, Greg & twins/ Aurora, IL/ 78.3 miles
Aunt Sharon & Uncle Larry/ Madison, WI/ 51.6 miles

For fun, I decided to add up the miles that separate us from a lot of our loved ones.

And the grand total is.................... 10,983.3!!!

Thats too many! Instead of more days in a year, I think we need a private jet...:-)

In the mean time, we use this as an excuse to visit some of our favorite places.  Texas just so happens to be my favorite state.  I have the in-laws to thank for that one :-)    California has amazing weather and some pretty amazing shopping too.   So, Dad and Kath...you rock!   All of our Chicago folks give us a chance to visit the places we once called home before we moved back to Winnebago.  Taryn, as much as I miss you and the fam.... I can't snowboard in Illinois!  Aunt Gail and Uncle Larry....thanks for the east coast lovin, not to mention you live near some of the most amazing college campuses ever!  Christy and Kevin, I guess we have you to thank for setting up shop in Georgia so I can get my fix of southern charm once in a while!  Ron and Flo, you made me a Cardinals fan. ;-)  And finally, I think I will always be a midwest girl.  So, Mom and Dan, thanks for being only one state away because I do love myself some Iowa!!

Today is one of those days where I sit in front of this computer and thank God he made someone smart enough to create internet, email, Facebook, and all the other things that keep us "close" to those that are so far away.

As I roll up my road map, tuck it away until we head out on the road to make our next visit, I remember one star that may not be on the map, but will one day be the location for us all......I leave you with the words to one of my favorite songs.....

Every day I drive to work across Flint River bridge
A hundred yards from the spot where me and grandpa fished
There's a piece of his old fruit stand on the side of Sawmill Road
He'd be there peelin' peaches if it was twenty years ago

And what I wouldn't give
To ride around in that old truck with him

If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far away

I'd hug all three of those girls we lost from the class of '99
And I'd find my bird dog Bo and take him huntin' one more time
I'd ask Hank why he took those pills back in '53
And Janis to sing the second verse of "Me and Bobby McGee
Sit on a cloud and visit for a while
It'd do me good just to see them smile

If heaven wasn't so far away
I'd pack up the kids and go for the day
Introduce them to their grandpa
Watch 'em laugh at the way he talks
I'd find my long lost cousin John
The one we left back in Vietnam
Show him a picture of his daughter now
She's a doctor and he'd be proud
Then tell him we'd be back in a couple of days
In the rear view mirror we'd all watch 'em wave
Yeah, and losing them wouldn't be so hard to take
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far
If heaven wasn't so far away
So far away
So far away

XOXO